


To Ashes

by RedglareVantas (xanemarths)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, JeanMarco Week, M/M, POV Jean Kirstein, Phoenixes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 12:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2507996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xanemarths/pseuds/RedglareVantas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They called Marco a phoenix, for though the trials he faced would consume him but a while, he would always rise up again the stronger from the ashes.</p>
<p>Oh, how Jean wished that could always be true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> I actually wrote a thing? A whole thing. I don't know how I actually finished it in time, but I did.
> 
> Prompt is, of course, ashes. I think I mentioned that far too often here. It probably could stand to be improved - but I don't have time, or energy as of now. I hope I did well with it, as canonverse isn't my strong point, and it has been a while since I saw these episodes.
> 
> Ashes didn't really do much for me until I remembered Marco getting called a phoenix SOMEWHERE - if anyone knows exactly where that happened, so I know I didn't just dream it, please tell me. The last lines came first, and that's when I knew it had to be canonverse.

They called Marco a phoenix, for though the trials he faced would consume him but a while, he would always rise up again the stronger from the ashes.

\--

He saw it first in Marco’s eyes on the day they became trainees, when Marco announced his intent of serving the king in the Military Police. He saw the light in those eyes flicker and fade out as the instructor told him he’d never be wanted. He nearly laughed - but then, they all faced the same trials, and Marco was certainly not the only one. But just as the light died, it resparked - a glimmer of cold determination, and the light resparked.

\--

It was then that he began to respect Marco.

\--

He saw it every day as trainees. For every failure and shortcoming, Marco always bounced back, somehow. He’d frown a moment, make a light comment, and then laugh it off, his smile lighting his features. “I’m not fast,” Marco said, and the light would fade as fire consumed him. “But I can serve as a distraction.” Then it would blaze back, bright in his eyes. He had a purpose.

\--

Everyone had long assumed them to be friends, but it was only the day after he made sure it was official.

\--

He saw Marco spread that wisdom to others - not the loud, blazing fire of Eren that he despised, moreso when Marco said he sounded the same in his rare moments of passion. Marco was the quiet, comforting one, the rock, the pillar of strength for them all. He didn't care who it was, or how the others viewed them. Whenever anyone fell victim to the blaze, he was always there to help them rise again, just as he did.

Even for his closest friend.

His name was Jean Kirschtein, and when he saw Marco graduate as part of the top ten, he swore he never saw his eyes light up so much. It was an odd pride, greater than his own for being just a step above. But seeing the way he smiled, seeing how absolutely radiant he looked in the moments after: that was worth everything.

He knew he was doomed to never rise like Marco. Despite all his efforts, Marco never was able to spread the fire to him. But that was okay. He had Marco with him, didn't he? One phoenix, blazing bright, was enough for him.

\--

That day, in Trost, all was lost.

Doom was imminent. Their single chance was but a fool's hope. Mikasa had gone - but Mikasa was always braver, stronger than them all. Looking around, Jean saw even Marco's light fade, and it seemed this time even he could not rise.

So he took a breath, and let himself be consumed instead.

And then, for the first time in his life, he _rose._

Not all made it on the run to the headquarters; titans grabbed and ate a few along the way. But many others made it. And on the road there, Jean felt Marco beside him, eyes shining like the stars and serving as a light in a hopeless place. For one so slow, so much of a burden (Jean never understood, what with those long legs - but Marco said he weighed more, and besides, Jean was thin, and lithe, and beautiful, and many other words that ended with them both embarrassed), he kept pace with one of the fastest quite well. He soared like the wind was beneath him, long enough to remind Jean of a conversation he needed to remember.

\--

It was then that he first fell in love with Marco, truly. And then that he realized Marco had always felt the same for him.

\--

It was never meant to be.

\--

There was no way Marco could ever rise after these fires, but somehow Jean held out hope. That he dreamed it all, misidentified a corpse by lousy eyesight or paranoia or the fact that it was half gone. Any moment now, Marco would come back, around the fire, calling his name before embracing him because he had been so worried-!

A more foolish, wildly illogical part of him cried that Marco had always been a phoenix, and like them, he too would rise again from the ashes as the fire burned itself out, whole and human and alive, and perhaps disoriented. All he needed to do was wait.

But how would Marco rise from the ash if he couldn't even tell what had been left of him?

The bones on the ground had fallen away from the fire, and he felt them call out to him, so he took them.

It was then that he saw Marco, blindingly brilliant, radiating like the sun, calling on him once again to remember his words. To rise up from his death, and to be the one to lead in his stead - and perhaps better than Marco ever could.

\--

It wasn't what he wanted. But it was enough.


End file.
